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nasty trumpery, and exposed to view. At last the day appointed came; the morn was woeful to the sheep and swine! it was a woeful morn for the poultry, young pigeons, and young rabbits! and a sad and lamentable morn for the inhabitants of the woods and waters ! 'ere it was quite light, one of the best wethers, two innocent lambs, one brawny barrow, two roasting pigs, two turkies, two geese, four ducks, four capons, two maiden pullets (as they call them), twenty-four pigeons, and fix rabbits, lost their lives! The rivers and little rivulets were poisoned with hogsheads of lime; barbarous act! cruel operation! not only drained of mullets, mudfish, crabs, lobsters, shrimps, &c. but all the small fry totally destroyed! Six Naves were sent out with guns; they made the woods and corn pieces resound; doves of various kinds, partridge, quails, and Guinea hens fell victims; the harmless unwieldy turtle, which had been pampered for months before in a rub, now lost its head, and was dressed into different savoury dishes ; also, the jewtish and kingfish, with plenty of delicious oysters, fresh from the fea or salt river. There were several cooks, and a number of pots and spirs engaged; there were pyes, puddings, tarts, and
upon custards in abundance, and the ovens were several times little Ætnas. There were a variety of sweetmears, and the choicest fruit the island produced; also, wines, cordials, &c. &c. The plate on a sideboard brushed most bright,
not sullied with the purest water, made a glittering appearance. At length the gentlemen crouded, and the tables were quickly overspread with an amazing number of dishes, five times more than ever I have seen at an Irish wedding.
Presently Miss Louisa and Miss Laura (as I fhall call them) made their appearance; they were gaudy and elegantly dressed, and extremely tight laced; their cheeks had been artfully scorched with red peppers, which gave them beautiful blushes: they seemed all lovely, all divine ; nor did their female fable attendants, which were dressed in white, as emblems of innocence, cut a despicable figure.
During dinner the gentlemen were as polite as possible to the young ladies, each endeavouring with all his might to insinuate himself into their good graces, by the eloquence of his eyes and tongue.
“ Pray, Miss Louisa, will you permit me to help you to a bit of the turkey; it is very fine!” " Tank you, fir, wid all my haut.” “ Pray miss, what part do you like best?” “ Sir, Ise don't love turkey rump-Ise love turkey bubby.” Miss Laura was taken notice of for having no appetite ; though she was pressed by the different gentlemen, she could eat nothingat length a military gentleman who fat next to her, asked her if she was indisposed, or what could it be that affected her, that it made hinn very unhappy : Little miss replied, “O fir, Ife can't tell.” Her mother then peremptorily demanded
to know what was the matter with her ? --and Laura replied, “ Me quite sorry mamma, Ise went in a bush to-day to do my and Yel. low Legs come, and he knaum my, and him puke; o I'm quite sorry for poor Yellow Legs!” At which uncouth expression some of the company smiled, and I was in pain for poor Laura, for she was my favourite. The fact appeared to be this: she had been that forenoon, as usual, in the cook-room, where she ate a cala, bash full of substantial pepperpot; it had a pur. gative effect on her; she had a necessary call backwards, and her favourite lap.dog, Yellow Legs, followed her; you may guess the rest.
During dinner, they did not forget to reprimand the maids several times, for not brushing off the flies; which put me in mind of their songs.
Quashibas, why you no bring bush; • You no fee flie kackaw in a dish ?”
After dinner there were different basons with water introduced (according to custom) for every person to wash their hands; but the military gentleman not being acquainted with the practice, instead of washing his hands, drank off the contents of his bason, which occasioned some of the gentlemen to smile, and the young ladies to laugh heartily; but this harmless mistake and piece of innocent mirth had like to terminate very seri
ously, for captain M.Kill-all (which was the of. ficer's name) being pert and raw, proud and ige norant, like many other military puppies, to shew his courage, challenged and fought one of the gentlemen next morning, and unfortunately M‘Kill-all came off with a Night wound in the Thoulder.
The old lady, who headed the table, contributed vastly in promoting mirth and chearfulness, by drinking “ Somebody," and giving a knock at the same time on the table, saying, “ Here she goes.” She had similar fentiments at command; which easy free politeness inspired the gentlemen with courage to take the liberty of ravishing her daughters of some sweet kiffes.
After the gentlemen were all departed, miss Louila and miss Laura took off their stays, and put on their romping frocks, and asked me to take a walk with them, as usual ; during the excursion through a spacious and delightful garden, imbowered with fhaddock, cushue, cocoa-nut, orange, and other fruit trees, we at length seated ourselves in a lonely and lovely arbour of grape and granadillo vines, where delicious fruit were pendant all round, whilst the mocking birds were warbling their melodious strains; miss Louisa and miss Laura sung most charming catches, which inspired me with ideas different from what I before entertained; on our return through a plantain walk, we went intentionally aftray.
6 I long
« I long to taste beneath some plantain's shade,
Ne'er shall my heart forget the pleasing days,
I gaily spent once in Jamaica dear!
And verdure crown eternally the year!
Whom nature, bounteous, sheds her blessings o'er,
And clothes for ornament are only wore !
Nor rove again through lime or orange grove;
Thro' lonely walks, to taste the sweets of love.
From what I have said you will, I suppose, conclude that I have been a vile profligate, and that it is ungenerous in me to expose the foibles in young ladies, by whom I was so much favoured. In answer thereto, I only write to you as a friend; and was you now in Jamaica, you might never find out the families I allude to, for I have concealed their names and places of abode: and