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nafty trumpery, and expofed to view. At last the day appointed came; the morn was woeful to the sheep and fwine! it was a woeful morn for the poultry, young pigeons, and young rabbits! and a fad and lamentable morn for the inhabitants of the woods and waters! 'ere it was quite light, one of the best wethers, two innocent lambs, one brawny barrow, two roafting pigs, two turkies, two geese, four ducks, four capons, two maiden pullets (as they call them), twenty-four pigeons, and fix rabbits, loft their lives! The rivers and little rivulets were poifoned with hogfheads of lime; barbarous act! cruel operation! not only drained of mullets, mudfifh, crabs, lobsters, fhrimps, &c. but all the small fry totally deftroyed! Six fláves were fent out with guns; they made the woods and corn pieces refound; doves of various kinds, partridge, quails, and Guinea hens fell victims; the harmlefs unwieldy turtle, which had been pampered for months before in a tub, now loft its head, and was dreffed into different favoury difhes; alfo, the jewtifh and kingfish, with plenty of delicious oysters, fresh from the fea or falt river. There were feveral cooks, and a number of pots and fpits engaged; there were pyes, puddings, tarts, and cuftards upon cuftards in abundance, and the ovens were feveral times little Ætnas. There were a variety of sweetmeats, and the choiceft fruit the inland produced; alfo, wines, cordials, &c. &c, The plate on a fideboard brushed most bright,
not fullied with the pureft water, made a glittering appearance. At length the gentlemen crouded, and the tables were quickly overspread with an amazing number of difhes, five times more than ever I have seen at an Irish wedding.
Presently Mifs Louifa and Mifs Laura (as I fhall call them) made their appearance; they were gaudy and elegantly dreffed, and extremely tight laced; their cheeks had been artfully fcorched with red peppers, which gave them beautiful blushes: they feemed all lovely, all divine; nor did their female fable attendants, which were dressed in white, as emblems of innocence, cut a despicable figure.
During dinner the gentlemen were as polite as poffible to the young ladies, each endeavouring with all his might to infinuate himself into their good graces, by the eloquence of his eyes and tongue. "Pray, Mifs Louifa, will you permit me to help you to a bit of the turkey; it is very fine!" "Tank you, fir, wid all my haut.” "Pray mifs, what part do you like beft?" "Sir, Ife don't love turkey rump-Ife love turkey bubby." Mifs Laura was taken notice of for having no appetite; though fhe was preffed by the different gentlemen, fhe could eat nothingat length a military gentleman who fat next to her, asked her if she was indifpofed, or what could it be that affected her, that it made him very unhappy Little mifs replied, "O fir, Ife can't tell." Her mother then peremptorily demanded
to know what was the matter with her?-and
During dinner, they did not forget to reprimand the maids feveral times, for not brushing off the flies; which put me in mind of their fongs,
"Quafhibas, why you no bring bush;
After dinner there were different basons with water introduced (according to custom) for every person to wash their hands; but the military gentleman not being acquainted with the practice, inftead of washing his hands, drank off the contents of his bason, which occafioned some of the gentlemen to smile, and the young ladies to laugh heartily; but this harmless mistake and piece of innocent mirth had like to terminate very feriously,
oufly, for captain M'Kill-all (which was the officer's name) being pert and raw, proud and ignorant, like many other military puppies, to fhew his courage, challenged and fought one of the gentlemen next morning, and unfortunately M'Kill all came off with a flight wound in the fhoulder.
The old lady, who headed the table, contributed vastly in promoting mirth and chearfulnefs, by drinking "Somebody," and giving a knock at the fame time on the table, faying, "Here fhe goes." She had fimilar fentiments at command; which eafy free politeness inspired the gentlemen with courage to take the liberty of ravishing her daughters of fome fweet kiffes.
After the gentlemen were all departed, mifs Louifa and mifs Laura took off their ftays, and put on their romping frocks, and asked me to take a walk with them, as ufual; during the excurfion through a fpacious and delightful garden, imbowered with fhaddock, cufhue, cocoa-nut, orange, and other fruit trees, we at length feated ourselves in a lonely and lovely arbour of grape and granadillo vines, where delicious fruit were pendant all round, whilft the mocking birds were warbling their melodious ftrains; mifs Louifa and mifs Laura fung moft charming catches, which infpired me with ideas different from what I before entertained; on our return through a plantain walk, we went intentionally aftray.
"I long to tafte beneath fome plantain's fhade,
Ne'er fhall my heart forget the pleafing days,
Sweet fertile ifle, where genial friendly rays,
Whom nature, bounteous, sheds her bleffings o'er,
Nor rove again through lime or orange grove;
Thro' lonely walks, to taste the sweets of love.
From what I have faid you will, I fuppofe, conclude that I have been a vile profligate, and that it is ungenerous in me to expofe the foibles in young ladies, by whom I was so much favoured. In answer thereto, I only write to you as a friend; and was you now in Jamaica, you might never find out the families I allude to, for I have concealed their names and places of abode: and I fill