and delighted in communicating for their own advantage, and that of the company; and I have known others, who commonly sat dumb, because they could find nothing to say. In England, we blame every one who talks freely, let his conversation be ever so entertaining and improving. In France, they look upon every man as a gloomy mɔrtal, whose tongue does not make an uninterrupted noise. Both these judgments are unjust.

If you talk sentences, do not at the same time give yourself a magisterial air in doing it. An easy conversation is the only agreeable one, especially in mixed company.

Be sure of the fact, before you lose time in searching for a cause.

If you have a friend that will reprove your faults and foibles, consider you enjoy a blessing, which the king upon the throne cannot have.

In disputes upon moral or scientific points, ever let your aim be to come at truth, not to conquer your opponent. So you never shall be at a loss, in losing the argument, and gaining a new discovery.

What may be very entertaining in company with ignorant people, may be tiresome to those who know more of the matter.

There is no method more likely to cure passion and rashness, than the frequent and attentive consideration of one's own weaknesses. This will work into the mind an habitual sense of the need.one has of being pardoned, and will bring down the swelling pride and obstinacy of heart, which are the cause of hasty passion.

If you happen into company where the talk runs into party, obscenity, scandal, folly, or vice of any kind, you had better pass for morose or unsocial, among people whose good opinion is not worth having, than shock your own conscience, by joining in conversation which you must disapprove of.

If you would have a right to account of things from illiterate people, let them tell their story in their own way. If you put them upon talking according to logical rules, you will confound them.

I was much pleased with the saying of a gentleman, who was engaged in a friendly argument with another upon a point in morals, "You and I (says he to his antagonist)

seem as far as I hitherto understand, to differ considerably in our opinions. Let us, if you please, try wherein we can agree." The scheme in most disputes is to try who shall conquer, or confound the other. It is therefore no wonder that so little light is struck out in conversation, where a candid inquiry after truth is often the least thing thought of.

If a man complains to you of his wife, a woman of her husband, a parent of a child, or a child of a parent, be very cautious how you meddle between such near relations, to blame the behaviour of one to the other. You will only have the hatred of both parties, and do no good with either. But this does not hinder your giving both parties, or either, your best advice in a prudent manner.

Be prudently secret. But do not affect to make a secret of what all the world may know; nor give yourself airs of being as close as a conspirator. You will better disappoint idle curiosity by seeming to have nothing to conceal. Never blame a friend, without joining some commendation to make reproof go down.

It is by giving a loose to folly, in conversation and action, that people expose themselves to contempt and ridicule. The modest man may deprive himself of some part of the applause of some sort of people in conversation, by not shining altogether so much as he might have done. Or he may deprive himself of some lesser advantages in life by his reluctancy in putting himself forward. But it is only the rash and impetuous talker, or actor, that effectually exposes himself in company, or ruins himself in life. It is therefore easy to determine which is the safest side to

err on.

It is a base temper in mankind, that they will not take the smallest slight at the hand of those who have done them the greatest kindness.

If

you fall into the greatest company, in a natural and unforced way, look upon yourself as one of them; and do not sneak, nor suffer any one to treat you unworthy, without just showing, that you know behaviour. But if you see them disposed to be rude, over-bearing, or purseproud, it will be more decent and less troublesome to retire, than to wrangle with them.

If at any time you chance, in conversation, to get on a

side of an argument which you find not to be tenable, or any other way over shoot yourself, turn off the subject in as easy and good humoured a way as you can. If you proceed still, and endeavour, right or wrong, to make your first point good, you will only entangle yourself the more, and in the end expose yourself.

Never over-praise any absent person: especially ladies, in company of ladies. It is the way to bring envy and hatred upon those whom you wish well to.

To try, whether your conversation is likely to be acceptable to people of sense, imagine what you say writ down, or printed, and consider how it would read; whether it would appear natural, improving, and entertaining; or affected, unmeaning, or mischievous.

It is better in conversation, with positive men to turn off the subject in dispute with some merry conceit, than keep up the contention to the disturbance of the company.

Do not give your advice upon any extraordinary emergency, nor your opinion upon any difficult point, especially in company of eminent persons, without first taking time to deliberate. If you say nothing, it may not be known whether your silence was owing to ignorance of the subject, or to modesty. If you give a rash and crude opinion, you are effectually and irrecoverably exposed.

If you fill your fancy, while you are in company, with suspicions of their thinking meanly of you: if you puff yourself up with imaginations of appearing to them a very witty or profound person: if you discompose yourself with fears of misbehaving before them; or any way put your self out of yourself; you will not appear in your natural colour; but in that of an affected, personated character, which is always disagreeable.

It may be useful to study, at leisure, a variety of proper phrases for such occasions as are most frequent in life, as civilities to superiors, expressions of kindness to inferiors; congratulations, condolence, expressions of gratitude, acknowledgement of faults, asking or denying of favours, &c. I prescribe no particular phrases, because, the language of conversation continually fluctuating, they must soon become obsolete. The best method of acquiring the accomplishment of a graceful and easy manner of expression for the common occasions of life, is attention,

and imitation of well-bred people.

Nothing makes a

man appear more contemptible than barrenness, pedantry, or impropriety of expression.

If you would be employed in serious business, do not set up for a buffoon.

Flattery is a compound of falsehood, selfishness, servility, and ill manners. Any one of these qualities is enough to make a character thoroughly odious. Who then would be the person, or have any concern with him, whose mind is deformed by four such vices?

If you must speak upon a difficult point, be the last speaker if you can.

You will not be agreeable to company, if you strive to bring in, or keep up a subject unsuitable to their capacities or humour.

You will never convince a man of ordinary sense, by overbearing his understanding. If you dispute with him in such a manner, as to show a due deference for his judgment, your complaisance may win him, though your saucy arguments could not.

Avoid disputes altogether, if possible; especially in mixed companies, and with ladies. You will hardly convince any one, and may disoblige or startle them, and get yourself the character of a conceited pragmatical person. Whereas, that of an agreeable companion, which you may have without giving yourself any great air of learning or depth, may be more advantageous to you in life, and will make you welcome in all companies.

The frequent use of the name of God, or the devil: allusions to passages of Scripture; mocking at any thing serious and devout; oaths, vulgar bye-words, cant phrases, affected hard words, when familiar terms will do as well; scraps of Latin, Greek or French; quotations from plays, spoke in a theatrical manner; all these much used in conversation render a person very contemptible to grave and wise men.

If you send people away from your company well-pleased with themselves, you need not fear but they will be well enough pleased with you, whether they have received any instruction from you or not. Most people had rather be pleased than instructed.

G

Do not tell unlikely or silly stories, if you know them to be true.

There is no greater rudeness to company, than entertaining them with scolding your servants.

Avoid little oddities in behaviour. But do not despise a man of worth, for his being somewhat awkward, or less agreeable, in his manner.

I hardly know any company more disagreeable than that of those, who are ever straining to hook in some quirk of wit or drollery, whatever be the subject of conversation. Reflect in yourself, after you have passed some hours in such company; and observe whether it leaves any thing in your mind but emptiness, levity, or disgust. Again observe, after you have passed some time in the conversation of men of wisdom and learning, if you do not find your mind filled with judicious reflections, and worthy resolutions. If you do not, it is because you have not a mind capable of them.

If you can express yourself to be perfectly understood in ten words, never use a dozen. Go not about to prove, by a long series of reasoning, what all the world is ready

to own.

If any one takes the trouble of finding fault with you, you ought in reason to suppose he has some regard for you, else he would not run the hazard of disobliging you, and drawing upon himself your hatred.

Do not ruffle or provoke any man: Why should any one be the worse for coming into company with you? Be not yourself provoked: Why should you give any man the advantage over you?

To say that one has opinions very different from those commonly received, is saying that he either loves singu, larity, or that he thinks for himself. Which of the two is the case, can only be found by examining the grounds of his opinions.

Do not appear to the public too sure, or too eager upon any project. If it should miscarry, which it is a chance but it does, you will be laughed at. The surest way to prevent which, is not to tell your designs or prospects in life.

If you give yourself a loose in mixed company, you may almost depend on being pulled to pieces as soon as