her, as well as himself; especially, whether the cool and judicious, and elderly people approve her character, conduct, and all circumstances, as well as the young, the thoughtless, and passionate. The bloom of beauty will soon wither; the glitter of riches, and the farce of grandeur, will quickly become insipid; nor will any thing earthly give peace to the wretch who has taken a serpent into his bosom, whose sting he feels every moment in his heart.

During the time of courtship, though a man must resolve to put on a smooth and engaging behaviour, there is no necessity, nor is it expected by the reasonable part of womankind, that the dignity of the nobler sex should be laid aside, and the lover debase himself, from a man of spirit, to a slave or a sycophant. On the contrary, it is absolutely necessary, if people are resolved to consult the happiness of the marriage state, to behave to one another in courtship, in such a manner, that neither may have reason to reproach the other with having acted a deceitful and unworthy part. For, if mutual love and esteem be the very cement of matrimonial happiness, and if it be impossible to love and esteem a person, who has deceived and imposed upon one, how cautious ought both parties to be, before entering into so close an union, of doing what may tend to lessen their mutual love and esteem for one another?

Nor is there less prudence requisite for preserving the happiness of the marriage state, than for establishing it at first. When it happens, as it will unavoidably at times, that the husband, or wife, is a little out of humour, it will be highly imprudent for the other to insist upon reasoning the matter out, or deciding the point in question, at that time. The dispute ought to be let alone, at least, till some time afterwards, or, if possible, dropped entirely. It may even be proper often to give up a point, and agree, (contrary to one's own judgment) to what is advanced by the other; which will show, that one does not oppose from mere perverseness; but on good grounds.

Again, if one happens to be in a thoughtful, or serious mood, it must be very injudicious in the other to put on a very gay behaviour; and contrariwise. Married people ought to think nothing trifling, or of small consequence,

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that may please or disgust one another. They ought to watch one another's looks; to study one another's tempers; to fly to oblige one another; and to be afraid of the blowing of a feather, if it has the least chance to displease. For, while the husband consults his wife's satisfaction, he is studying to promote his own happiness, and so of the wife. Cleanliness, dress, complaisance; every little piece of obsequiousness and tenderness; consulting one another upon every trifle, however obvious; commendations of one another's judgment or taste, if expressed with address, and without the appearance of flattery; yielding every point, if possible, before there be time to dispute it; these are the arts, by which love is kept alive for life.

Too great, and too constant fondness and indulgence will sometimes be found to lessen affection, as it may make the smallest occasional remission, or change of behaviour, be construed into coldness. Even the constant presence of married persons together, where there is no opportunity of longing for the sight of one another, may occasion inindifference. So delicate is the passion of love, and so casily cooled!

SECTION VII.

Of the Management of Children.

CHILDREN being the usual consequence of marriage, it is natural in this place to say something on the conduct that is necessary for bringing them up to maturity, and settling them in the world.

It is certain, that what very strongly affects the mother, will likewise often produce amazing effects both upon the body and mind of the infant in her womb. If, therefore, a man does not choose to have a monster, an ideot, or a fury born to him, he ought to take the utmost care, that his pregnant wife be kept as much as possible from the sight of uncouth objects, and from whatever may terrify her, or ruffle her temper. Indeed, the distress a weak woman undergoes in that condition is such, that none but a savage could find in his heart to heighten by ill usage.

The child being brought into the world, the care of its health lies wholly upon the mother. And that mother,

who, according to the present polite custom, more barbarous than any that prevails among the brutes, turns her own offspring over to the care of a mercenary nurse, on any pretence but absolute necessity, ought not to be sur. prised, if her child grows up with a diseased constitution, or a depraved disposition, the effects of sucking the breast of an unhealthy or ill tempered woman; or if its tender limbs be distorted, its faculties stupified, or its days shortened by gin, opium, or Godfrey's Cordial.*

Whoever would have healthy and hardy children, must not only live temperately themselves, but must take care, that their children, especially in their infancy, be kept from all manner of gross food, as meat and sauces, and be allowed to indulge very sparingly in sweetmeats, but by no means to touch strong liquors. With every bit of the one, or a sip of the other, an infant swallows the seeds of a variety of species of discases. For it being impossible that the stomach of a child should be strong enough to digest what those of grown people cannot, without prejudice to their constitutions, and shortening of their days, it is plain, that such substances must turn to crudities, which must mix with and corrupt the whole mass of blood. If a child is never used to indulgences in this respect, he will suffer nothing from the refusal of what is not fit for him. For he will be just what he is made by habit and custom. From the time a child begins to speak, to four or five years of age, is the is the proper period for breaking and forming his temper. If that important work is not done within this time, it is, in most children, not to be done at all. For the mind quickly acquires a degree of obstinacy and untractableness, that is not to be conquered by any methods which tender parents can bring themselves to use. And habits once rooted, are not to be eradicated but by very violent means.

Of all the follies which show themselves in innumerable different ways, in the conduct of our weak and shortsighted species, there is none that is more general, that goes more extravagant lengths, or proves more fatal, than that which appears in the partiality of fond patents for their children. To love our offspring with the utmost

A common custom with industrious nurses, to quiet the children com. mitted to their care, that they may in the mean time go on with other business.

tenderness, to labour, to wish, and to pray for their real good, is no doubt our indispensable duty. But to shut our eyes against their faults, or to resolve not to correct them for fear of giving them a little pain; to effeminate and enervate their spirits by fondling them; to grant to their importunity, what we ought on all accounts to refuse; to hurt their constitutions, by indulging them in what is improper for them; to neglect the cultivation of their minds with useful knowledge, through fear of overburdening their faculties; and above all, to be so weak as to let them know our weakness; if there be any infirmity beyond this, it must be somewhat I have never heard of.

By that time people come to be parents it is to be expected they should be past the folly of youth, the usual excuse for the next greatest weakness of human nature, I mean romantic love. But we see every day, instances to the contrary; parents indulging their children in every wrong tendency, and even delighted with that very obstinacy, and those very follies, which they cannot but think, must one day, make both them and their children unhappy; allowing themselves to be overcome by their solicitations, to grant them what they know must prove hurtful to them; and withholding from them, at their desire, what they know is their greatest good.

A proof of the mischiefs arising from fondness for children, is, that we find by experience, the fools in a great family are generally the eldest and youngest, whose fate is commonly to be most doted on. Those in the middle, who pass neglected, are commonly found to turn out best in life. Natural sons, foundlings, and outcasts, often make their way better in the world, by their own industry, with little or no education, than those who have been brought up in effeminacy and extravagance, and with expectations of a fortune; whose education is by those means in a great measure defeated.

If you observe your child given to falsehood, one of the worst tendencies that can discover itself in a young mind, (as implying a kind of natural baseness of spirit,) the point in view must be, to endeavour to raise in him such a sense of honour, as may set him above that base practice. For this purpose, it may be proper to express

the utmost astonishment upon the first information of his transgressing that way; to seem to disbelieve it, and to punish him rather with shame and the loss of your favour, than any other way; and if you can raise in him a sense of shame, you will quickly habituate him to take care of failing into shameful actions. A turn to pilfering of play. things, or sweetmeats, is to be treated in the same manner; as, is also, a disposition to tricking at play, and in purchasing of play-things of others, his equals.

To remove out of the way one great temptation to lying, or equivocation, (which is as bad,) it will be a good method to let him know, he may always expect to be pardoned what he has done amiss, upon an honest and ingen. uous confession. For indeed, there is no fault a child is likely to be guilty of, that is so bad as a lie, or trick, to excuse it. Therefore it will be best, before you mention what you have to accuse him of, to put it in his power to save the punishment, by making the discovery himself; intimating, that you know more than he may think of, and that you will treat him accordingly as you find he deals ingenuously with you, or otherwise.

If your son seems to show a turn to craft, and sly deceit, which appears in some children very early, and is a very unpromising character, the likeliest way to break him of that vice, is by showing him that his little arts are seen through; by triumphing over him, and ridiculing his ineffectual cunning in the severest manner you can; and by suspecting some design in all he says and does, and putting him to such inconveniences by your suspicions of him, as may make him resolve to be open and honest, merely in self-defence.

If his bent be to passion and resentment, shutting him up, and keeping him from his diversions and playfellows, is the proper method of treating him; because it gives him an opportunity for what he most wants, to wit, consideration, and attention to his own weakness, which is all that is in early age necessary to the conquest of it.

If he appears timorous or cowardly, it will be necessary to accustom him, by degrees, to crowds, to stormy weather, to rough waters, to the sight of counterfeit fighting matches, and to be handled a little roughly, but without danger of being hurt, by others of his own age. If his