behind and before, to prevent my going forward or back? Hear his voice proclaiming, 'He hath a devil, why hear him?' Hear it saying, 'God has commanded you to forsake all and follow him, and has pronounced his curse upon you, if you disobey. You wish above all things to do so, and why do you not? See the reason. God himself has placed you in the midst of vanity and lies; his own hand holds you; he has bound you, and made the chain inseparable. He commands you away by those wrestlings within; at the same time prevents, by his providences without. What truth is there in his word? or what profit is there if you pray unto him? If there be a God, it is presumption for you to believe in him, as you do. If he has wrought deliverances, it has been only in the past.'

"Oh, how destructive all this to the peace of the soul! How can I endure the conflict, while all within so emphatically tells that God regards not my prayer; and all without seems to be arrayed against me, to laugh at my hope? Where shall I find rest? If I find it, it will be in sleeping for sorrow."

In times of spiritual darkness and depression, the enemy is peculiarly active. It is his sifting time-his hour, and the power of darkness; and the truly pious may be so harassed by his temptations, as to be ready to give up all for lost, and exclaim with David, 'I shall one day perish by the hand of Saul.' But probably much of the perplexity and distress which attended Miss Cushing during the latter part of her business life, arose from

her peculiar situation, and, perhaps, a mistake with regard to the path of duty.

It is painful to trace the mental sufferings of one, whose uniform desire seems to have been, that she might do her Maker's will; and if it was his will that she should continue so long in a situation which had become so repugnant to her feelings, she doubtless erred in suffering her mind to be so annoyed by the duties and cares with which it was encumbered.

We have already intimated that her mind had been directed to the subject of Missions; and from the continued perusal of her journal, we are led to conclude, that it might have been her duty to have followed the examples of those self-denying females who have emphatically left all to follow Christ; and in single life embarked in that cause, to which her mind was directed, and for which she was so well qualified.

Were this the case, she probably erred in not receiving the suggestions of the Holy Spirit, in its still small voice; and by expecting a more direct communication relative to the path of duty, than God at this late day sees fit to grant. From this latter source, we suspect, many of her trials arose. Her journal continues:

"Oh, the darkness, the hopelessness of this hour! The unmingled bitterness of my cup! The Spirit makes no intercession, my prayer is shut out; nothing remains to me but the continual dashing of the waves of distress. But for the belief that I have

not finished the work thou hast given me to do, would gladly go down to my grave and be at rest.

"Blessed Redeemer! I would still look unto thee; thou hast hitherto led me, and wilt thou not now guide me? Of sufferings thou hast tenderly warned me, and may I now remember that thou hast told me of them. Give thy Spirit to make intercession for me; and, if it can please thee, loose the chains by which I am bound. As the bird flies away from the snare of the fowler, so let me fly from this world's oppressive cares.

"A few months since, my situation was consonant with my feelings; the place, the business in which I am, were all to me as God ordained. But now, all is changed. The place is too strait for my spirit. The heart sighs for a wider range of thought, for a work more noble, for treasures more enduring. "The Savior prayed for a cup to pass from him which never could; so, perhaps, have I; and this may be the thorn I am destined through life to endure; and instead of active labor in the cause I love, my duty may be submissively to acquiese. But if so, why, in so many instances, has the Spirit made intercession to the reverse

"Oh, strengthen me to bear the raging of these winds, the dashing of these waves; and may I obey thee by laboring to endure the storm, as well as in striving to secure the harbor. I fear my own weakness and unwillingness, more than I fear the raging of the tempest; but wilt thou enable me, with unshrinking firmness, to meet the storms of this short life."

CHAPTER XIII.

Description of a Storm-Reaching after God-Devout RaptureSudden Reverse-Dream-Desire to be Employed in the Service of Christ-Providences noticed-Self-Scrutiny.

THE following was probably written during the memorable storm of January, 1839, when the river, near which she resided, rose so rapidly, as, in the course of a few hours, to float its icy covering, and sweep away many of the works of man.

January 29. How awful to see God in the tempest! to witness in the elements the majesty and glory of his power! to hear him in the tempest so emphatically saying, 'I can create, and I destroy.' How independent, how righteously sovereign, the Being we adore! How fearfully grand his appearance! See him, all who will, in his wisdom and might, sweeping away the wealth and the works of men.

Hear him in his judgments saying, 'Boast not thyself of to-morrow, for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.' Hear him proclaim, 'Lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth.' Hear him reasoning with the devotee of this world, 'Wherefore do ye spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which satisfieth not?' 'Why lay not up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where no floods drown, neither winds destroy?'

"O my soul, receive instruction. See the tempest without, so illustrative of the tempest within. Hear those beating winds, and see those dashing waves; how expressive of the cold and merciless waves of oppression, and the cruel, heart-breaking winds of temptation, combining their force to destroy within this bosom the hopes and expectations of the future! Learn here thy dependence on God. He commands, and the winds are still. He also

"O Lord, we would acknowledge thy right to sweep away the works of man. Thou hast thrown down their habitations; thou hast swept away their strong holds; thou hast taken away the voice of gladness, and the sound of the mill-stone; yea, thou hast made desolation for us. This delightful river, so recently confined in its course by the icy fetters of winter, forming one vast and unbroken bridge, for the pleasure of the traveler, is now overspreading its banks with its mighty waters, and hasting its way as if hurried to fill up some vast cavity in the mighty deep, and as if swelling its tide for the purpose of destroying the labors and hopes of man.

"February 1. O God! thou knowest my heart — its unceasing labors, its constant reaching after thee. Wherever I go, wherever I am, in the business excursion, in the social circle, in the closet, or elsewhere, there thou hearest its constant importunity for the kind interposition of thine hand. Oh, enlighten my understanding, inform my judgment, regulate my thoughts, and sanctify my affections;