that I may be able to try the spirits, whether they are of God;' and judge righteously in all things.

"March 19. This afternoon, returned from the care of my sick friend, to the solitude of my chamber; and how full of the presence of Christ! How attentive his ear, ready to hear all my complaints! How full of pity his heart! Truly, he is touched with the feeling of my infirmities; he knows the pains I feel. Dear Savior, how peaceful to recline my weary head upon thy bosom, that I may tell thee all my sorrows, and whisper all my complaints and wants into thine ear. See the overflowing fount! See the love of God in Christ for the poor, distressed spirit! yea, even for me! Oh, what love for one so worthless!. Hear him so sweetly saying, 'I will never leave thee nor forsake thee!' He holds my tempted soul in his hand, that it may not be smitten beyond what it is able to bear. how shall I return such infinite kindness!"

Oh,

CHAPTER XIV.

Trials Sanctified-Reflections on the Operation of Mind-Christ our Example-The Tempest succeeds the Calm-Nearness to God-Trials, and high and holy Enjoyment-Allusion to Hannah More.

"MARCH 20. These fiery trials break the strong ties which have hitherto bound me to earth. Thanks be to God, fire is sufficient to burn these cords of self-love; that the affections may go out with increased attachment to Christ; and mount upward as on eagles' wings. Have recently loved to contemplate a situation which has heretofore appeared the most afflicting of all others, and felt that even in that I could glory, if it were for Christ's sake; that if every earthly stream of pleasure were dried up, with Christ I could be happy. Oh, how enriching to yield up all, and count those things once dear to my heart, as loss for him!

"March 21. How wisely meted out are all the providences of my life. Day by day comes my daily bread; with new objects of thought, new trials or new joys. To-day a kind disclosure from a friend in the form of a reproof. May it not tend to make me more and more depressed and worthless; but more cautious, and wise, in all my way; more like my great pattern. Cannot be perfected by peace and pleasure; but it must be by pain and trial, 'so as by fire.'

"March 22. All is pleasure, when I walk in the light of thy countenance. No labor is wearisome, no chastening is painful, no ways are dark, for thou art with me. Oh, take not thine Holy Spirit from me. With thee am happy, take what thou wilt away.

"March 26. How peaceful the retrospect of the past few days! A wise Providence seemed to call for a sacrifice of personal ease and profit, and direct me to the sick chamber of a dear friend, to administer to her wants. How blessed to forget one's self, in consideration of the will of God. Visited also the deeply afflicted, the widow and the fatherless, and friends who were sick, possibly, if not probably, unto death. It is indeed heavenly to do my Master's will; to remember him in his acts of benevolence, ready always to administer to the wants of others, as their character and circumstances required. Truly, 'he went about doing good.' Oh, that he would allow me to do so; that he would count me worthy of his employ. May I prove my willingness to follow him, by forsaking all I have, the things dearest to me. To relinquish for Christ things held but loosely, is but a poor proof of my love. If I would be his disciple, must count the fondest grati fication of my heart, of nothing worth, when in competition with his will. O my Savior, help me to do this, and whatever thy providence shall dictate, however much it may be against my fondest wishes and expectations, however deeply it may oppress. May I then be enabled to show how much I love thee, by saying from the heart, Not my will, but thine be done.

8

"March 27. How complex the operations of the human mind! how deep the study of one's self! How ready we are to expect a thing because we desire it; and how slow to do so because it is promised! How strong the influence upon the mind from natural causes, and how powerful the influence from the Holy Spirit! the latter, distinct from the former, both in kind and degree, yet not always distinguishable. But how different in its effects! The one, bearing the image of the heavenly; the other of the earthly.

"I see the human mind, susceptible of high-toned, emotions; innocent, but not holy; in some instances I may not have perceived the difference between innocence and holiness. Lord, teach me what are the higher operations of the natural heart, and those which are peculiar to the renewed. May I be enabled to distinguish the divine influence from every other. May I know what the Spirit authorizes me to do, and expect. Oh, grant me a wise and understanding heart, that I may know myself and thee. Make me more heavenly. Cannot expect to imitate the infinite perfections of Deity; but there is a glorious example I would imitate, God manifest in the flesh.' An exalted pattern! He lived our example, and died our sacrifice. I would bear more of his image, that the world may see that I have been much in his presence, and be led to glorify him. Oh, I would exhibit his light to a dark and fallen world; I would tell them of his compassion; his readiness to forgive the repenting sinner. I would tell them of his smiles of love for the contrite spirit; of his fullness, to which all thirsty spirits are invited

to come, and drink abundantly; and I would tell them of that rest which remains for the faithful. As Moses lifted up the brazen serpent, so would 1, by a blameless life, and godly conversation, in the humble sphere in which I may move, hold up the blessed Savior, that the dying sinner may look and live.

"March 28. Thy ways are ways of pleasantness; all is peaceful when I can trace thy hand. But alas! I look forward to a thorn that must pierce my heart, if it be not removed, or divested of its point. It is an immersion into the cares of business; the study of fashions, Painful thought.

"How can this heart be tranquil when the tempest so constantly succeeds the calm? Sometimes my soul seems filled with God, and sometimes with satan. At one time, raised to the full possession of promise; at another, fallen, as if shut out from all hope in God, either as Governor or Giver. Alas! is not the grand secret of all this, a mistaken trust? unconsciously trusting in myself, rather than in God? O my soul, 'Lean not on earth, 'twill pierce thee to the heart.' How full of meaning the words of the Apostle, 'If any man think that he knoweth anything, he knoweth nothing yet as he ought to know.' Has not my own hand inflicted the deepest wounds? because of the darkness of my understanding, have I not pierced myself through with many sorrows?

"March 29. Read to-day the Memoir of Mrs. Ellis; precious testimony to the benefits resulting from the death of Christ. How many monuments