exercised on the doctrine of election. On some important points in theology, she had probably never been clear. Possessing naturally an inquiring mind, it was not strange, when the subject was brought before her, that she should have attempted to search too far into the deep things of God. Alluding to a sermon which she heard on divine sovereignty, she says, "It called forth deep and inquisitive thought. A just view of the subject seemed indispensable, while to me it was dark, involving my spirit in much perplexity. The Bible was a sealed book; the instruction of friends, like darkening counsel by words without knowledge; a thick cloud seemed to obstruct my way to God; my own personal interest, as it was known to him, in the counsels of eternity, bore heavily on my spirit; at the same time feeling great aversion and unreconciliation toward the place in which I thought he might have seen me. Notwithstanding that captivating love which was shed abroad in my heart, so cleansing in its nature, yet sin reigned there to an astonishing degree, and raised its enmity against the government of God. These were days of suffering which the records of eternity alone will tell. But He who is rich in mercy, again extended his aid, and brought me into captivity to the obedience of Christ, by a perfect surrender of all preconceived opinions, with an entire willingness to suffer the loss of all things for the knowledge of God. He revealed himself as the Alpha and Omega; and all his counsels as just and good."

During this season, to which we have heard her refer, as one of the most trying of her life, she was brought to see the consistency of the great plan of human redemption; the goodness of God in providing a way of escape for the condemned sinner; and his perfect right to leave some to their own choice, while he made others willing in the day of his power. Thus, that doctrine which she had so imperfectly understood, and to which she had been so much opposed, became very dear to her heart. This year, 1831, she speaks of the death of an affectionate father, as being one of the severe trials which she trusts was sanctified to her.

In 1832, the subject of this memoir engaged in teaching a school in an adjoining town, with which she connected a Sabbath school. Her journal shows that she had a deep sense of the responsibility of her situation, and that her efforts proved successful in securing an unusual number of teachers and scholars. She speaks of sometimes enjoying the divine presence, but mourns over the sinfulness of her best performances.

"The succeeding fall," she continues, "prepared to enter the millinery business, and was obliged to spend some months from home and friends. But He who careth for the fowls, cared for me, and afforded many privileges productive of happiness; whispering to me when cast down, Fear not, I will strengthen thee, and uphold thee, for I am thy God.'

"On my return, I was confined for a few weeks by sickness; death seemed near, and clothed in all his terrors; but the Savior soon appeared for my

relief, and I believed that I was only to cease to breathe, to be forever with the Lord. Learned by this trial, with what ease he could remove his children to a better world.

"In a few weeks commenced business, realizing my inability to provide for my wants without help from God. The year was crowned with health and prosperity; felt my indebtedness to my kind Benefactor, and a disposition to trust him for the future.

"The following spring, on account of the inconvenience of prosecuting my business as I was then situated, concluded to visit Massachusetts. The circumstances of my journey indicated that good hand which had always been about my path. Found my friends kind and affectionate.

My

"The displeasure of some with whom I associated was incurred, by my expressing myself too strongly in favor of what I believed to be truth: in one instance it broke supposed friendship, and provoked censure. But I felt that I was not worthy of the name of 'zealous professor,' that was given me in derision. I sometimes met with Christian friends whose society was kindred to that above; at others, with the gay and giddy. affections were often set on things on the earth, duty left undone, and prayer too much restrained. Chastisement was necessary, that my affections should be disciplined, and brought into subserviency to the commands of Christ. My health declined, and serious fears were entertained both by myself and others, with regard to my case. I knew too well the sufferings which the difficulty had caused,

and the length of time from its commencement, not to indulge fearful apprehensions of the result. By the affectionate advice of friends, applied to a physician living at some distance. The day was memorable; I went, not knowing the things that would befall me there. A measure of grace was given, to aid my fainting spirit. Was enabled to say, 'If this cup may not pass from me, except I drink it, thy will be done.' It passed, and its dregs were not tasted. No more suffering has since been endured. It seemed like the removal of a mountain into the midst of the sea, from exercising faith in God. The passage, 'My grace is sufficient for thee,' appeared doubly sweet and supporting, while the affliction served to attach me more closely to my Savior."

After spending a year in Massachusetts, Miss Cushing returned to Bloomfield, and again commenced her business.

CHAPTER II.

Her feelings relative to the Church of which she was a MemberAn appropriate, particular Faith-Letter to a Student.

THE Church of which Miss Cushing was a member, had for a succession of years been destitute of a stated ministry. At the time of the dismission of their pastor, a difference of opinion existed in relation to the expediency of the measures which were pursued, and this produced a long alienation of affection. For this church she felt a peculiar and deep interest. Speaking of a church conference which she attended soon after her return, she says:

"It gave me pleasure to find that neither distance nor time had effaced from my recollection the endearing relation which we collectively sustain to the vine, but the pleasure was not unmixed. The church was as yet as sheep having no shepherd; and like the daughter of Zion whose beauty had departed, and our cry was, Give us a pastor after thine own heart.

"The following spring, Mr. Drink water, who had long been hesitating with regard to the path of duty, concluded to accept the invitation of the church to become their pastor, and our hopes were realized, while we were ready to say, How beautiful are the feet of those that bring good tidings. Yet we felt,